Meeting Minutes
(February 2006)
Good morning all! We had our 2nd Angels meeting of the year last night. We spoke about the upcoming Easter Holiday. We were short some friends last night and we all mentioned how we were thinking of Lynelle & Bea and that they were in our prayers.
Jane mentioned at our last meeting how hard it was for her, just a month ago when they cut down the tree that was right there were Laura & Mandi had their car accident. Jane said that the workers who cut down the tree took the ribbon from it and very respectfully tied it to another tree and left a small stump there where the tree used to be. For her it was such a hard moment to see the tree gone. That was at the time, now we realize it may have been a blessing. We aren't sure of the person's name but a young lady was in a car accident on Kerns Rd since the tree was removed. Her would have hit the same tree as Laura & Mandi’s car hit but this time it went right over the stump and the girl suffered only minor injuries. We spoke how the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Jo spoke about how differently some of us grieve. It's so much easier for some of us to "pretend" not to think about devastating moments as if we are supposed to get back in to grove of "the norm" and keep on going. For others we feel that it we talk about it and feel the grieving process then we can get through our day better. Some of the moms wondered if it was more difficult for the circumstances based upon a child's death as well. They wondered if it felt different to a mom who had to gradually see their child's health get worse before they let them go as opposed to a child who was taken instantly in a car accident. Some parents prefer that it happened instant so that they did not have to watch their children suffer, while other parents felt grief because they knew ahead of time and were able to spend more time with their kids and cherish every single moment with them before they left us.
One of our members noticed a beautiful white cross on Hwy 21 near where Sasha's accident took place. It's a white cross with an angel carved out of the top and it had a red ribbon tied around it. We want to take the time to mention that March may be especially hard for Teresa as she comes up on the time of the 1 year anniversary of Sasha's death and we want to let her know we are thinking of her.
We were wondering if anyone had heard anything about how the Readling family was doing. Someone thought the 15 year old daughter was already back in school and another heard she was still have major complications so we wanted to know how they are doing. We will continue to keep the whole family in our thoughts & prayers.
Sherry mentioned that the year that Mandi & Laura had their accident was on palm Friday and that they way the calendar fell, this year, the anniversary of the girls death would fall on palm Friday again, just like it did that day. She said it seemed to make you feel it all over again, that it was just a feeling, like a smell or a touch. We will be thinking of Jane & Sherry and their families as the girl’s anniversary approaches in April.
Mary will also be coming up on the 12th anniversary of Gwen's accident March, 11th so we want to remember her family at this time as well. Julie Gaddy expressed to us how she just coped with the anniversary of Kate's death on February 6th. Please know that you are not alone and that we will always be here for each other. We mentioned last night that we wouldn't know what to do without the support we all get from one another.
We will not have a ministries meeting in March this year. Instead we will have the 10th annual Angels of 97 spaghetti dinner to attend. We ask that all the angel ministries families bring a picture of their "angel" to the dinner so that we may place it on a table with a few words about them in order to honor their memory at our event. Please see Jane if you have any questions regarding the dinner or the ministries table. We hope to see you all there, mark your calendars for Saturday March 18th.
(November 2005)
We had a large group attend the meeting this month. We even had our first male attendee. We said a prayer and our hearts went out to the family of Jacob Earnhardt who passed away tragically earlier in the week.
Jane read a story from the book Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul titled Remember with Courage. It told of a young woman who lost her husband around Christmas. She explained the pain that was felt when she & her children were buying clothing for her husband’s funeral and the lady at the cash register just assumed that the nice clothes meant she was getting a jump-start on the holidays for her Christmas shopping. She mentioned how that year they placed a picture of her husband on the Christmas tree and declared it their Christmas Star that year. From there we all tried to come up with ways to cope through the Holidays.
A lot of the parents mentioned that they had to alter their traditions after the death of their children. Jane said that when Laura was alive they always had a live Christmas tree. She said that since Laura has been gone they have opted to have a non-living Christmas tree. She also said it took 4-5 years after Laura was gone to finally start putting out Laura’s ornaments. Most of the parents still put up their children’s stocking and have their own way of stuffing them with notes and small gifts for family members. Jo said that her family still has not out up a tree since they lost Matt but she mentioned that over the Holidays, such as at Thanksgiving, when her family meets, they light a candle at the spot in front of where Matthew would have sat to honor him as a new tradition. Lynelle mentioned that her husband found the courage to write letters to Zack’s friends to let them know nice things Zack had said about them, to make sure they knew how much they meant to Zack.
We mentioned how hard the little things were, like how to sign Christmas cards now. Jane says she signs her name & her husband’s and then they have a little angel sticker they place on the card for Laura’s signature. A lot of mom’s still haven’t gotten back to sending out Christmas cards. Someone mentioned that they sign all the family’s names and then beside that they put in memory of with their child’s name.
Other ideas that were mentioned were: Have a living Christmas tree, which you later plant as part of your remembrance. Visit a nursing home just to talk; it’s surprising how much someone who cares can help brighten another’s day. Give presents to your departed child’s friends, they are grieving too. Place a special ornament on the tree in memory of your child and start an ornament collection in your child’s memory.
All family’s agreed that you never get back to “normal” after a loss that you just have to change what “normal” means. They also agreed that it seemed much harder after the second year. The first year you have an overwhelming support group of family and friends to help you get through but after that first year, everyone else has gone back to their “normal” and you don’t get as much support as you did before. We mentioned the poem about how it feels like there is a white elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.
Rachelle & Jeff played a tape of their daughter, Tabitha, singing when she was around 13 years old. She sang the part of that World, from the Little Mermaid movie and it moved most of us to tears. What a beautiful voice, we were all honored to be able to hear that tape. What a treasure that it to have!
Jo had some angel ornaments for all of us. She even found some in pink & some in blue. Those of you who have looked for boy angels know how hard it is to find a boy angel. Thank you Jo, that was so thoughtful.
Several of the mom’s wanted to do something in memory of their child to keep their spirit alive and do something special for someone this Holiday. We mentioned of a toy drive that was happening at the Starbucks at Birkdale. Stacie also mentioned that she would be taking a collection of toys, stocking stuffers, and stuffed animals for ages 0-18 to local foster homes to be delivered by Santa.
We also want to invite EVERYONE to the Angles Candlelight Ceremony that we will be having at Hopewell Church at 7:00pm on Friday night, December 2nd. We will have more details to follow but if you have any questions please contact Jane Bolton at (704) 875-6354.
(April 2005)
At tonight’s meeting we started out with a prayers for some of the newer family’s that we have been in reach with. Our thoughts go out to the families of Michael David Duni Jr, Sasha Nicole Knox, and Ryan Marshall Yoho.
Jo brought up how beautiful Julie’s necklace was. It’s a gold heart with Kate’s picture engraved in it. She mentioned how special it was to her and from there we mentioned other special keepsakes that others has made of their children. Jo mentioned some stickers that some of the kids from Matthew’s school had made to put on the back of their cars. Jane has a locket with Laura’s picture inside and she wears it everyday and mentioned how special it seemed that the day of Laura’s birthday it seemed as though by chance so many people noticed her necklace that day. She said so many people commented on it and it just made her feel as though Laura was looking down at her that day. Someone also commented on how nice the bookmarks were that the Duni family had made for their son, Michael.
Mary had just recently celebrated what would have been her daughter, Gwen’s 33rd birthday, and she said it was such a beautiful day. Her & her other daughter went out for lunch and sat at a table outside because it was so pretty out. The waitress noticed the button Mary was wearing that had Gwen’s picture and asked her about Gwen. Mary explained that they were celebrating her birthday and the waitress had a nice story of her own. She had lost a cousin when she was 16 and she described what that was like for her. We want her to know she is in our thoughts as well. Mary saw several old friends that day that she hadn’t seen in years. She even ran into Gwen’s former tennis coach and they shared some moments together.
Someone mentioned how lovely the plaque is that was placed at the corner of Birkdale & Sam Furr Rd in memory of Sally Clark & Anna Grace Jordan.
We mentioned that with Spring break last week and Prom season starting next week that we hope other young people can make good judgment calls to make safe decisions.
We are also trying to get together a list of scriptures, books, poems, and any ideas of inspiration that has helped all of us through hard times. We would like to be able to post some reference ideas on our website for others who may be in need. If you have any you would like to add, please send an email Stacie Overcash-Ingle.
(February 2005)
Our last meeting was a wonderful opportunity to understand anniversaries of our children's departure and how important these days are to us. They seem to bring so many different feelings out for all of us. Julie just had the anniversary of Kate's passing and the 10th year anniversary for Jane & Sherry's daughters, Laura & Mandi were coming up right around the corner. We discussed how each of us handle this so differently. It was also mentioned about the day of the Anniversary. Like if it happened on Monday the 4th of March and several years down the road on the Anniversary date it was Monday, the 4th of March. This seems to make the pain so much harder,
like you are having to relive it.
Julie mentioned the day that she lost Kate. Kate and several other young girls were car-pooling on their way to a hot-dog fund-raiser in Claremont to raise funds for a cheerleading competition to be held in Acapulco. She was following 3 cars behind the car that Kate was in at the time of the accident. Julie said that the day of the anniversary, this year, her and about 10 of the mom's and children from her daughter's cheerleading group got together and went to the grave to put out flowers. She mentioned that in the beginning one of the things she did was go through the old letters from Kate's friends and divide them among the people that sent them to her
and gave them back so they would have a special gift to treasure and look back on over the years. We spoke about how some parents who have children pass away in car accidents go back and visit the accident site. Julie said the night of the Kate's accident was the only time she had been there and that she had no wishes to go back to that site for fear that she would re-live that moment. She felt more comfortable putting flowers at the graveside. Jane was at the site of Laura's accident and she still goes back to tend to the flowers in the memorial garden they have there for Laura & Mandi but that she feels more comfortable at the graveside as well.
Julie mentioned the name of an "Angel" named Walt that read her daughter Kate's story in the paper and was so overwhelmed by her story that he wanted to say some words at Kate's funeral. He read a wonderful poem that day at the service and left Kate a letter. He was given a rose that day along with everyone that came to Kate's funeral and he said to this day he keeps it in on display in a birdcage in his home. he takes it out every year on the day of the anniversary date and sits it by the phone so that he remembers to call and check on Julie and her family and to let them know they are in his thoughts.
Julie also mentioned a book that another mom who had lost a child had sent to her around this year's anniversary. It's a wonderful book called: Moments for those who have lost a loved one. Several of the moms from our group plan to read it.
Mary mentioned how important it is for grieving parents to be able to share their memories with others. She really enjoyed every opportunity to tell people about her daughter, Gwen. She was not at the site of the accident that night so it seems more comforting to her to go to the scene of her daughter's accident. At the same time, Sherry was not at the site the night of the accident, and she feels the same way as Mary, it is easier for her to tend to the flowers at the memorial where the accident happened then to go to the graveside.
We were all touched by how we had all suffered such a tragedy but how we all handled things so differently. Joe mentioned how she felt after her son, Matt's accident and what her family went through. From there her & Jane spoke about Easter coming up. Jane read an excerpt from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 that talks about Hope and mending a broken heart which had a very powerful meaning.
At the end of our meeting in closing, Julie showed us a beautiful silver bracelet that she had just gotten. It was in recognition of the Kristen Foundation, named after Kristen Modafferi, a Park Scholar at NC State University and Charlotte resident (member of St. Matthew Catholic Church), who disappeared without a trace, in 1997, while working and studying in San Francisco, California. The Kristen Foundation's primary purpose is to fill the void left by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's legal restriction against providing assistance in efforts to located persons above the age of 18. The Foundation is currently fund-raising by selling "Expect Miracles" bracelets for $5. Julie will be able to get more information for anyone who is interested in purchasing a bracelet.
(October 2004)
We had a very successful meeting Thursday, October 21, 2004. It was wonderful to get to see everyone again. We all took turns telling stories about our children. We mentioned ways that we cope with our losses during the holidays. We got to met a new member last night and we got some more ideas together for the candlelight memorial service on December 3rd.
Julie Gaddy spoke about her daughter, Kate Gaddy. Wednesday, November 3rd Kate would have been 20 years old. We will all be thinking of Julie, her other daughter Rachel, and the rest of her family and friends on this tough day. Kate was a freshman at East Lincoln High School, she was a JV cheerleader who loved dance.
Jo Markham spoke of her son, Matt Markham. He was an avid swimmer who loved the water. A lot of our families remember him when he was a lifeguard at the Wedgewood subdivision pool. He was away at UNC Wilmington at the time of his accident on a jet-ski. December 1st will be the 6th anniversary of his death and we will have his parents, his brother Max, and their family in our prayers as well. The last time he had spent with his family was the week before on Thanksgiving so we realize this will be an especially hard time for the family. Matt's favorite color was orange so we have so many little things that remind of us him this time of year.
Our newest member just crossed our paths last night. She was actually coming to the church to pick something up and we got to talking and lucky for us she decided to stay for our meeting. Her name is E Barbara Wells and she spoke about her brother, Dean Wells who passed away from a car accident when he was 19. Dean was a local radio announcer years ago and was on his way to announce a baseball game when he had his accident. His birthday would have been the day before. One of the topics for discussion at the meeting was to find someone who could play the music at our Candlelight memorial service and we think there was a reason Ms. Wells, who is a Pianist/Organist just happened to stop by last night. :0) It was our pleasure to have her join our group.
Mary Franks spoke on behalf of two people last night. The first person we got to hear about was her daughter Gwen Stroud. Monday, Mary had played in a golf tournament at Finley golf course for the UNC Pharmacy School where Gwen was attending preceding her accident. Mary noticed a rock that her daughter's Kappa Psi fraternity group had placed in front of the dormitory and decided to go by the house and see how some of the brothers & sisters of her daughter’s fraternity were doing. That night "as if by chance" the fraternity had a group of new pledges and one of the first things they do is tell them about Gwen. Mary was lucky enough to be able to take part in this and say a few words about Gwen.
Mary also spoke on behalf of a dear friend, Ester who lost her son Danny to car accident when he was 18. October 21, 2004 marked the 7-year anniversary of his death and Mary asked that we keep their family in our prayers as they go through this hard time.
Our Angels Ministries Leader, Jane Bolton, was there to facilitate the meeting as well. Not only did she help us talk about our children and soothe us with prayer and guidance, but she also spoke about her daughter Laura Barnette. She brought up the little everyday things that make us think of our children. We spoke about how every time she sees a Sunflower she thinks of Laura, because they were her favorite flowers. Laura would be 26 this coming January the 9th and Jane spoke of how hard that is to believe. She also mentioned that she didn’t realize until recently that because of her own loss she never fully got to grieve over the loss of her very dear friend, Mandi. Since Laura & Mandi were such close friends, she was like a part of the family to Jane as well and she said some very wonderful things about Mandi.
I hope we can all benefit from the time that we share. We will continue to keep everyone in our thoughts and prayers.
Good morning all! We had our 2nd Angels meeting of the year last night. We spoke about the upcoming Easter Holiday. We were short some friends last night and we all mentioned how we were thinking of Lynelle & Bea and that they were in our prayers.
Jane mentioned at our last meeting how hard it was for her, just a month ago when they cut down the tree that was right there were Laura & Mandi had their car accident. Jane said that the workers who cut down the tree took the ribbon from it and very respectfully tied it to another tree and left a small stump there where the tree used to be. For her it was such a hard moment to see the tree gone. That was at the time, now we realize it may have been a blessing. We aren't sure of the person's name but a young lady was in a car accident on Kerns Rd since the tree was removed. Her would have hit the same tree as Laura & Mandi’s car hit but this time it went right over the stump and the girl suffered only minor injuries. We spoke how the Lord works in mysterious ways.
Jo spoke about how differently some of us grieve. It's so much easier for some of us to "pretend" not to think about devastating moments as if we are supposed to get back in to grove of "the norm" and keep on going. For others we feel that it we talk about it and feel the grieving process then we can get through our day better. Some of the moms wondered if it was more difficult for the circumstances based upon a child's death as well. They wondered if it felt different to a mom who had to gradually see their child's health get worse before they let them go as opposed to a child who was taken instantly in a car accident. Some parents prefer that it happened instant so that they did not have to watch their children suffer, while other parents felt grief because they knew ahead of time and were able to spend more time with their kids and cherish every single moment with them before they left us.
One of our members noticed a beautiful white cross on Hwy 21 near where Sasha's accident took place. It's a white cross with an angel carved out of the top and it had a red ribbon tied around it. We want to take the time to mention that March may be especially hard for Teresa as she comes up on the time of the 1 year anniversary of Sasha's death and we want to let her know we are thinking of her.
We were wondering if anyone had heard anything about how the Readling family was doing. Someone thought the 15 year old daughter was already back in school and another heard she was still have major complications so we wanted to know how they are doing. We will continue to keep the whole family in our thoughts & prayers.
Sherry mentioned that the year that Mandi & Laura had their accident was on palm Friday and that they way the calendar fell, this year, the anniversary of the girls death would fall on palm Friday again, just like it did that day. She said it seemed to make you feel it all over again, that it was just a feeling, like a smell or a touch. We will be thinking of Jane & Sherry and their families as the girl’s anniversary approaches in April.
Mary will also be coming up on the 12th anniversary of Gwen's accident March, 11th so we want to remember her family at this time as well. Julie Gaddy expressed to us how she just coped with the anniversary of Kate's death on February 6th. Please know that you are not alone and that we will always be here for each other. We mentioned last night that we wouldn't know what to do without the support we all get from one another.
We will not have a ministries meeting in March this year. Instead we will have the 10th annual Angels of 97 spaghetti dinner to attend. We ask that all the angel ministries families bring a picture of their "angel" to the dinner so that we may place it on a table with a few words about them in order to honor their memory at our event. Please see Jane if you have any questions regarding the dinner or the ministries table. We hope to see you all there, mark your calendars for Saturday March 18th.
(November 2005)
We had a large group attend the meeting this month. We even had our first male attendee. We said a prayer and our hearts went out to the family of Jacob Earnhardt who passed away tragically earlier in the week.
Jane read a story from the book Chicken Soup for the Grieving Soul titled Remember with Courage. It told of a young woman who lost her husband around Christmas. She explained the pain that was felt when she & her children were buying clothing for her husband’s funeral and the lady at the cash register just assumed that the nice clothes meant she was getting a jump-start on the holidays for her Christmas shopping. She mentioned how that year they placed a picture of her husband on the Christmas tree and declared it their Christmas Star that year. From there we all tried to come up with ways to cope through the Holidays.
A lot of the parents mentioned that they had to alter their traditions after the death of their children. Jane said that when Laura was alive they always had a live Christmas tree. She said that since Laura has been gone they have opted to have a non-living Christmas tree. She also said it took 4-5 years after Laura was gone to finally start putting out Laura’s ornaments. Most of the parents still put up their children’s stocking and have their own way of stuffing them with notes and small gifts for family members. Jo said that her family still has not out up a tree since they lost Matt but she mentioned that over the Holidays, such as at Thanksgiving, when her family meets, they light a candle at the spot in front of where Matthew would have sat to honor him as a new tradition. Lynelle mentioned that her husband found the courage to write letters to Zack’s friends to let them know nice things Zack had said about them, to make sure they knew how much they meant to Zack.
We mentioned how hard the little things were, like how to sign Christmas cards now. Jane says she signs her name & her husband’s and then they have a little angel sticker they place on the card for Laura’s signature. A lot of mom’s still haven’t gotten back to sending out Christmas cards. Someone mentioned that they sign all the family’s names and then beside that they put in memory of with their child’s name.
Other ideas that were mentioned were: Have a living Christmas tree, which you later plant as part of your remembrance. Visit a nursing home just to talk; it’s surprising how much someone who cares can help brighten another’s day. Give presents to your departed child’s friends, they are grieving too. Place a special ornament on the tree in memory of your child and start an ornament collection in your child’s memory.
All family’s agreed that you never get back to “normal” after a loss that you just have to change what “normal” means. They also agreed that it seemed much harder after the second year. The first year you have an overwhelming support group of family and friends to help you get through but after that first year, everyone else has gone back to their “normal” and you don’t get as much support as you did before. We mentioned the poem about how it feels like there is a white elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.
Rachelle & Jeff played a tape of their daughter, Tabitha, singing when she was around 13 years old. She sang the part of that World, from the Little Mermaid movie and it moved most of us to tears. What a beautiful voice, we were all honored to be able to hear that tape. What a treasure that it to have!
Jo had some angel ornaments for all of us. She even found some in pink & some in blue. Those of you who have looked for boy angels know how hard it is to find a boy angel. Thank you Jo, that was so thoughtful.
Several of the mom’s wanted to do something in memory of their child to keep their spirit alive and do something special for someone this Holiday. We mentioned of a toy drive that was happening at the Starbucks at Birkdale. Stacie also mentioned that she would be taking a collection of toys, stocking stuffers, and stuffed animals for ages 0-18 to local foster homes to be delivered by Santa.
We also want to invite EVERYONE to the Angles Candlelight Ceremony that we will be having at Hopewell Church at 7:00pm on Friday night, December 2nd. We will have more details to follow but if you have any questions please contact Jane Bolton at (704) 875-6354.
(April 2005)
At tonight’s meeting we started out with a prayers for some of the newer family’s that we have been in reach with. Our thoughts go out to the families of Michael David Duni Jr, Sasha Nicole Knox, and Ryan Marshall Yoho.
Jo brought up how beautiful Julie’s necklace was. It’s a gold heart with Kate’s picture engraved in it. She mentioned how special it was to her and from there we mentioned other special keepsakes that others has made of their children. Jo mentioned some stickers that some of the kids from Matthew’s school had made to put on the back of their cars. Jane has a locket with Laura’s picture inside and she wears it everyday and mentioned how special it seemed that the day of Laura’s birthday it seemed as though by chance so many people noticed her necklace that day. She said so many people commented on it and it just made her feel as though Laura was looking down at her that day. Someone also commented on how nice the bookmarks were that the Duni family had made for their son, Michael.
Mary had just recently celebrated what would have been her daughter, Gwen’s 33rd birthday, and she said it was such a beautiful day. Her & her other daughter went out for lunch and sat at a table outside because it was so pretty out. The waitress noticed the button Mary was wearing that had Gwen’s picture and asked her about Gwen. Mary explained that they were celebrating her birthday and the waitress had a nice story of her own. She had lost a cousin when she was 16 and she described what that was like for her. We want her to know she is in our thoughts as well. Mary saw several old friends that day that she hadn’t seen in years. She even ran into Gwen’s former tennis coach and they shared some moments together.
Someone mentioned how lovely the plaque is that was placed at the corner of Birkdale & Sam Furr Rd in memory of Sally Clark & Anna Grace Jordan.
We mentioned that with Spring break last week and Prom season starting next week that we hope other young people can make good judgment calls to make safe decisions.
We are also trying to get together a list of scriptures, books, poems, and any ideas of inspiration that has helped all of us through hard times. We would like to be able to post some reference ideas on our website for others who may be in need. If you have any you would like to add, please send an email Stacie Overcash-Ingle.
(February 2005)
Our last meeting was a wonderful opportunity to understand anniversaries of our children's departure and how important these days are to us. They seem to bring so many different feelings out for all of us. Julie just had the anniversary of Kate's passing and the 10th year anniversary for Jane & Sherry's daughters, Laura & Mandi were coming up right around the corner. We discussed how each of us handle this so differently. It was also mentioned about the day of the Anniversary. Like if it happened on Monday the 4th of March and several years down the road on the Anniversary date it was Monday, the 4th of March. This seems to make the pain so much harder,
like you are having to relive it.
Julie mentioned the day that she lost Kate. Kate and several other young girls were car-pooling on their way to a hot-dog fund-raiser in Claremont to raise funds for a cheerleading competition to be held in Acapulco. She was following 3 cars behind the car that Kate was in at the time of the accident. Julie said that the day of the anniversary, this year, her and about 10 of the mom's and children from her daughter's cheerleading group got together and went to the grave to put out flowers. She mentioned that in the beginning one of the things she did was go through the old letters from Kate's friends and divide them among the people that sent them to her
and gave them back so they would have a special gift to treasure and look back on over the years. We spoke about how some parents who have children pass away in car accidents go back and visit the accident site. Julie said the night of the Kate's accident was the only time she had been there and that she had no wishes to go back to that site for fear that she would re-live that moment. She felt more comfortable putting flowers at the graveside. Jane was at the site of Laura's accident and she still goes back to tend to the flowers in the memorial garden they have there for Laura & Mandi but that she feels more comfortable at the graveside as well.
Julie mentioned the name of an "Angel" named Walt that read her daughter Kate's story in the paper and was so overwhelmed by her story that he wanted to say some words at Kate's funeral. He read a wonderful poem that day at the service and left Kate a letter. He was given a rose that day along with everyone that came to Kate's funeral and he said to this day he keeps it in on display in a birdcage in his home. he takes it out every year on the day of the anniversary date and sits it by the phone so that he remembers to call and check on Julie and her family and to let them know they are in his thoughts.
Julie also mentioned a book that another mom who had lost a child had sent to her around this year's anniversary. It's a wonderful book called: Moments for those who have lost a loved one. Several of the moms from our group plan to read it.
Mary mentioned how important it is for grieving parents to be able to share their memories with others. She really enjoyed every opportunity to tell people about her daughter, Gwen. She was not at the site of the accident that night so it seems more comforting to her to go to the scene of her daughter's accident. At the same time, Sherry was not at the site the night of the accident, and she feels the same way as Mary, it is easier for her to tend to the flowers at the memorial where the accident happened then to go to the graveside.
We were all touched by how we had all suffered such a tragedy but how we all handled things so differently. Joe mentioned how she felt after her son, Matt's accident and what her family went through. From there her & Jane spoke about Easter coming up. Jane read an excerpt from 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 that talks about Hope and mending a broken heart which had a very powerful meaning.
At the end of our meeting in closing, Julie showed us a beautiful silver bracelet that she had just gotten. It was in recognition of the Kristen Foundation, named after Kristen Modafferi, a Park Scholar at NC State University and Charlotte resident (member of St. Matthew Catholic Church), who disappeared without a trace, in 1997, while working and studying in San Francisco, California. The Kristen Foundation's primary purpose is to fill the void left by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's legal restriction against providing assistance in efforts to located persons above the age of 18. The Foundation is currently fund-raising by selling "Expect Miracles" bracelets for $5. Julie will be able to get more information for anyone who is interested in purchasing a bracelet.
(October 2004)
We had a very successful meeting Thursday, October 21, 2004. It was wonderful to get to see everyone again. We all took turns telling stories about our children. We mentioned ways that we cope with our losses during the holidays. We got to met a new member last night and we got some more ideas together for the candlelight memorial service on December 3rd.
Julie Gaddy spoke about her daughter, Kate Gaddy. Wednesday, November 3rd Kate would have been 20 years old. We will all be thinking of Julie, her other daughter Rachel, and the rest of her family and friends on this tough day. Kate was a freshman at East Lincoln High School, she was a JV cheerleader who loved dance.
Jo Markham spoke of her son, Matt Markham. He was an avid swimmer who loved the water. A lot of our families remember him when he was a lifeguard at the Wedgewood subdivision pool. He was away at UNC Wilmington at the time of his accident on a jet-ski. December 1st will be the 6th anniversary of his death and we will have his parents, his brother Max, and their family in our prayers as well. The last time he had spent with his family was the week before on Thanksgiving so we realize this will be an especially hard time for the family. Matt's favorite color was orange so we have so many little things that remind of us him this time of year.
Our newest member just crossed our paths last night. She was actually coming to the church to pick something up and we got to talking and lucky for us she decided to stay for our meeting. Her name is E Barbara Wells and she spoke about her brother, Dean Wells who passed away from a car accident when he was 19. Dean was a local radio announcer years ago and was on his way to announce a baseball game when he had his accident. His birthday would have been the day before. One of the topics for discussion at the meeting was to find someone who could play the music at our Candlelight memorial service and we think there was a reason Ms. Wells, who is a Pianist/Organist just happened to stop by last night. :0) It was our pleasure to have her join our group.
Mary Franks spoke on behalf of two people last night. The first person we got to hear about was her daughter Gwen Stroud. Monday, Mary had played in a golf tournament at Finley golf course for the UNC Pharmacy School where Gwen was attending preceding her accident. Mary noticed a rock that her daughter's Kappa Psi fraternity group had placed in front of the dormitory and decided to go by the house and see how some of the brothers & sisters of her daughter’s fraternity were doing. That night "as if by chance" the fraternity had a group of new pledges and one of the first things they do is tell them about Gwen. Mary was lucky enough to be able to take part in this and say a few words about Gwen.
Mary also spoke on behalf of a dear friend, Ester who lost her son Danny to car accident when he was 18. October 21, 2004 marked the 7-year anniversary of his death and Mary asked that we keep their family in our prayers as they go through this hard time.
Our Angels Ministries Leader, Jane Bolton, was there to facilitate the meeting as well. Not only did she help us talk about our children and soothe us with prayer and guidance, but she also spoke about her daughter Laura Barnette. She brought up the little everyday things that make us think of our children. We spoke about how every time she sees a Sunflower she thinks of Laura, because they were her favorite flowers. Laura would be 26 this coming January the 9th and Jane spoke of how hard that is to believe. She also mentioned that she didn’t realize until recently that because of her own loss she never fully got to grieve over the loss of her very dear friend, Mandi. Since Laura & Mandi were such close friends, she was like a part of the family to Jane as well and she said some very wonderful things about Mandi.
I hope we can all benefit from the time that we share. We will continue to keep everyone in our thoughts and prayers.